A New Doctor

Today I had my first doctor's appointment for Baby J. While it was a lot of paperwork, blood work and peeing in a cup, I was able to get a solid due date - October 3, 2012!

After the fiasco with Jackson, I changed doctors. When your OBGYN sees you three times a week and is delivering your second baby and STILL doesn't know who you are, it's time for a change. I decided to go back to the same doctor I started seeing when I was a teenager. She knows my history and even knew I was in the hospital on the mag sulfate with Jackson. I also needed someone who would listen. 


In addition to paperwork and blood tests, I knew what today's appointment had in store - lots of shocked looks from nurses about our decision to have another baby. Despite my preterm labor with Jackson, people think I'm out of my mind for having three kids so close.

I welcomed the nurse's questioning looks and agreed with all of her suggestions to stop exercising (haven't done that in years), relax, rest and drink a lot of water. While she was doing my blood work I couldn't help but plead my case because I felt there was a little too much judgement.

"I know what my chart says. I know what my history says. And I know medically my chances of going into labor prematurely are high. But I honestly don't think I'd be sitting here in this office, talking about due dates and birth plans, if I didn't think God was big enough to give my body every ounce of strength it needs to carry this baby to term. I'm going to do it. Even if I go to 37 weeks, or even 36 weeks and 2 days, it's farther than I went with the boys and I'm determined to do it. I'm pregnant because God willed it and planned it, and He can defy all those odds."

I was really proud of myself for saying it. I'm not great at standing up for myself, but I felt like my words really got through to her. She smiled at me and then asked about Jimmy and Jackson. I shared a few of their endearing, brotherly-love moments and I could sense even more of her concern for my pregnancy subsiding.

We don't just get pregnant. It's all part of His plan.

And God has changed my heart in a big way for this pregnancy. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm stubborn. With this pregnancy, I'm letting people help me more and it's still so early on. I'm letting Jimmy do more things around the house; I'm putting my feet up; I'm napping (and I never nap); I'm staying hydrated; I'm not letting work stress me out; I'm at peace.

I don't think I felt this much peace when I was pregnant with the boys, because I let fear, stress and other emotions take charge. But God has filled me with so much peace and given me a heart this go around that says it's ok to not do everything.

And that's why Baby J is going to break the mold and last longer in my belly than his/her brothers did. Just you watch. My God is bigger, stronger, and can defy all the odds.