Disgusted at the idea of a bird in my house and worried at what germs it may expose to the baby, I shut the door to the nursery and tip-toed into the bedroom where Jimmy was fast asleep.
I poked his arm.
"Uh, Jimmy, there's a bird in the house."
His eyes opened slowly and he adjusted his eyes to the light streaming in from the morning sun. He then closed his eyes and looked as if what I just said was part of a dream and he was hoping it would all go away. I stood over the bed and looked at him, reassuring that what he just heard was true.
"Seriously, there's a bird. Get up," I whispered.
A few minutes later he met me in the hallway and as if on cue, the bird began to chirp and flutter, chirp and flutter, chirp and flutter. His mouth opened as he looked at me in shock.
Without another word he was out the back door, wearing only gym shorts and flip flops, as he examined the side of the house to see where a bird could possibly get in. He found a perfect little spot under the roof where birds had built a nest and could easily just hop out and mosey on into our humble abode.
After he told me the news, he asked what he should do. I was already texting his mom, letting her know we had visitors when I looked up with one of those "matter-of-fact" looks upon my face and said, "Well, get it out of course!"
Jimmy headed into the bedroom and then into the garage and came back to the hallway adorned in a blue polo (I'm sure it was the first shirt he found when he walked into the bedroom), gym shorts, gardening gloves, a golf club and a net. I don't think I could have scripted a more hilarious picture than that and the sight of him made me burst out into laughter.
I, being the incredibly big coward, retreated to the master bedroom and awaited the news that the bird was gone. Minutes passed and I heard nothing. Then, I heard the golf club fall and Jimmy let out a tiny squeal at the sight of the fluttering bird. The door to the A/C unit closed. I peaked out the door and asked if everything was taken care of.
Negative.
The initial mission had failed because Jimmy lost sight of the bird. Minutes later, he tried again - and failed again. We went about this little routine for at least an hour until Jimmy was successful in scooping the bird up in the net and freeing him to the outdoors. I let out a big sigh of relief and went about scrubbing the house, now feeling that the tiny bird had in some way contaminated everything.
A few hours later as we were sitting in the office working and baby Jimmy was down for his afternoon nap, another chirp rang from the hallway. This time, we were led to the living room and there we were, standing smack dab in the middle of our living room, staring at the ceiling, wondering how in the heck ANOTHER bird got up there.
Jimmy pulled the ladder to the attic down in the garage, armed himself with the net and a flashlight, and went to finding our second unwanted visitor.
And again he failed. But this time he failed in an attic that was easily over 100 degrees, leaving him agitated and sweaty.
The second attempt was almost a success, but the bird escaped the net and wedged itself down where it entered. Jimmy hoped it would find its way back out and fled the suffocating heat.
We haven't heard another peep from our new house guests, and we are hoping they are gone for good. We will have to gently remove the nest and patch up the hole so no other guests decide to come for a stay.
All I could think about was how this day was almost too hilarious for it to be real life. We had recently seen in an episode of Modern Family a pigeon frighten and cause massive amounts of destruction in the house when Mitchell tries to free it. Luckily, nothing in our home was destroyed, but these birds definitely turned our day upside down.
There's honestly never a dull moment in the Fraser house.
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