A week from today I start my progesterone shots. The shots are a weekly dose of progesterone and they are designed to tell my body, mainly my uterus, to stay tight and not contract early. It's one of the many precautions my OBGYN is taking to prevent any pre-term labor this pregnancy, and unfortunately, it's the most painful. However, the up side is the baby will be closely monitored via ultrasound over the coming weeks to make sure my body doesn't start trying to induce labor too soon. I'm always thankful for the extra opportunities to see my little one up on the screen.
People have started to ask me much more lately if I'm scared what happened with Jackson will happen again. Honestly, I'm not. I prayed for this third baby and I know God wouldn't have given us a baby if my body wasn't strong enough to handle the pregnancy. I pray every night that my body will be strong and provide a peaceful, healthy environment for baby #3. Deep in my heart the worries have already been calmed, though.
With Jackson, I thought I was invincible. My pregnancy with Jimmy went so smooth, labor was a piece of cake and went by in the blink of an eye, and I recovered faster than anticipated. When I got pregnant with Jackson, I thought I could do more and all those horror stories of preterm labor were things that could happen to other people, but not me. At almost five months pregnant, we went through the stressful process of buying a house and moving. When I was six months pregnant, I laid grass in our back yard. Alone. Picture a pregnant woman, in January, with a wheelbarrow full of grass pallets going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth for hours. I didn't realize the stress I was putting on my body during the process, but when I finally took a moment to sit down I found myself unable to breathe. Shortly after that, the contractions began. And then, the final blow came when we found out about my brother's drug addiction. The immense amount of stress I underwent through those months with moving, overexerting myself and trying to help my family and brother were too much for my body to handle.
This pregnancy, things are much different. I've realized a lot about handling stress and the importance of truly taking it easy. I'm finding a good balance between working, raising the boys and finding time for myself. Just today my dad called and said, "Moderate stress is good for the baby, but extreme stress isn't." Everyone's focus this pregnancy is to make sure I stick to my guns and just relax. I'll admit, the trip to Austin was a bit of a toll on my body, so I think I'm done traveling until the baby arrives.
We're leaving it in the hands of our Father in Heaven to prepare our home and hearts for this baby. Every day I look at the boys and see their personalities growing and I wonder what type of personality this third Fraser will have. Jackson is growing more vocal by the day, and he's extremely destructive. Jimmy is extremely vocal, but also sweet and caring. Will baby 3 have a more quiet personality? Or will we have another talker in the family? Either way, I know God is at work molding this child into His perfect creation, and for that, I am so thankful.
Progesterone shots, you can only go so far. It's my God, and my God alone, who controls whether or not preterm labor is going to affect our family again, and I'm putting my trust in Him alone.
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