We've been very diligent in saving for the past year and a half. It's tough because we don't make as much as our friends, but at the same time we are learning so much about saving and being appreciative of what we have at the present. We haven't saved up enough yet to buy a house because we want to make sure we have enough left over in the account in case one of us loses our job. And then there's saving for baby Jimmy's future. It's all so complicated now and my head just hurts when I begin to think about the numbers and how I wish we could afford more. At the same time, I know God put us at this point for a reason. We are meant to learn from this time in our lives and I truly think it has strengthened our faith in God and our marriage. We are learning to lean not on our own understanding and DEFINITELY not to let money run our lives. It's tough to watch our friends get new houses or make upgrades or go on vacations, but we feel very fortunate to be able to share in those times of their lives. We support them all and love them because we know they don't look at us and judge us on what we make. Not to say we are living paycheck to paycheck or barely able to buy food, it's just that our pay scale is very different from those around us.
But it's tough. I would be lying if I said it's easy to budget every month and figure out when we can look into buying a home. What really bothers us is the fact that we have to family plan around our budget, mainly due to insurance. Our insurance only covers one pregnancy every two years, and deep down, we were hoping to have the first two kids pretty close in age. However, I know if God's plan wants something different, then it's all in His hands. I must confess that I need to turn more of my stress, no wait, all of my stress, over to Him. I worry because there's so much on our shoulders as parents and I want to provide for my son the best I can.
For anyone who is reading, if you could send your prayers our way for us to turn our stress and worries over to God and fully lean on His will, they would be greatly appreciated. For my own sanity and to get me through this rough patch, I will list all of the blessings in my life:
- My husband. He is everything I ever needed in a husband and best friend - and more.
- My son. He is growing like a weed and laughs so much I can't help but be full of smiles around him. Thank God we are able to feed him, dress him and keep him in a safe, happy, Godly environment. That little boy has more toys and outfits than any 4 month old would ever need.
- Our family. They support us in all that we do and encourage us to keep strong in our faith. We push forward daily and follow our dreams because of them.
- Our home that we are renting from Jimmy's parents. It's not a custom home with lots of fancy upgrades, but it's perfect for us. We have lots of space, beautiful new carpet, and a big backyard for Brinkley to run around.
- Brinkley, our adorable, rambunctious puppy. She's so lovable and understanding. She protects our family and, although she isn't a big fan of all the attention the baby gets, she loves him nonetheless.
- Our jobs. I have the opportunity to work from home. I don't think many people truly understand how hard I work or what I give daily for my job, but I love it. It's challenging and rewarding and it allows me to be at home with my son all day. Not only that, I can contribute to the family income. Jimmy's new job is such a blessing and he will have the opportunity to reach out to students day after day, teaching them what he is most passionate about.
- My bed. Silly, right? But, seriously, it is my safe-haven. The place I go when I'm sad, tired, defeated and elated. It's my comfort zone.
- Our friends. I really can't imagine a person having a better group of friends than Jimmy and I have. We love them more than words can express.
- Laughter. Both of my boys are so good at making me laugh. The best laughs are the uncontrollable kind, and there's never a shortage of those around the Fraser house.
- And, most importantly, the eternal love and forgiveness from my Lord and Savior.
It's easy to feel like this sometimes. Only because we live in America. We don't know just how well off we are, compared to the majority of the world.
ReplyDeleteOur community group has decided to "adopt" a refugee family of 5 from Burma. They arrive in America at 11:30pm tomorrow. They have been in a refugee camp in Thailand since 1995. Their land burned and lives threatened by the Burmese government. They arrive with one bag each, the debt of each of their $1,500 plane tickets, and no English. Supported by the US for only 2 months, English basics and a job a necessity after that, with a wife and 3 kids to clothe and feed. (All 3 of which have known no life outside of the camp.) But this is what they have been waiting for, for 15 years.
We've been preparing for this the last few weeks, gathering everything they'll need for their 2 bedroom apartment, praying for good communication (somehow!) and the ability to love this family as our own and help them get their feet on the ground in a culture that coudln't be further from theirs. God is REALLY using this to put things in prospective for us.
You are so so blessed Jessica!! God has given us so much more than most will ever think of having. Know that you are blessed and we deserve none of what we have been given! God is taking great care of your sweet little family. I mean look at that beautiful baby boy!!!!
Love & Prayers.