In this day and age, more and more people are waiting until their late twenties or even thirties to start family planning. Being a young couple with new and blossoming careers, I guess this was the reason people wondered if our little bundle of joy was a little "whoops."
But our story is a little different, and one that we have only shared with family and close friends. For some reason, I want to share it with anyone who will take the time to read it, because to Jimmy and I, it is a story that has forever changed our lives.
We both knew we wanted to have kids, there was no doubt about that. When we were married in 2008, we decided to wait about three years to start trying, which we figured was adequate time to save, grow in our marriage and settle in our new lives. This plan, however, was never set in stone and we were well aware that many things could either postpone our plans of starting a family or kick them into high gear much earlier than anticipated. We were open for anything, knowing full well our trust was in God who would not lead us astray.
But an incident back in 2005 would indeed cause us to put family planning at a higher priority soon into our marriage. Right before finals in 2005, Jimmy had to rush me to the hospital after I had endured the pain of three ovarian cysts on my left ovary for far too long. The hospital staff found the cysts quickly and were immediately concerned about the size and texture of them, insisting I get home to my own doctor to have them further looked at. One by one, the cysts burst and caused me great pain each time. From then on, it was not uncommon for cysts to develop each month, despite all the measures taken to prevent them.
Two summers ago, I had surgery to remove the scar tissue that years worth of cysts had left behind. And still, no matter what I did, I could not escape the cysts and the inevitable pain they brought along. My doctor grew weary of the size and texture again, warning me that the damage they were doing to my ovaries could create some problems for pregnancy down the road. Jimmy and my family were by my side through all of this, offering encouragement and lots of love.
And then, during one appointment, I received news I had never wanted to hear, but always feared might come my way: there was a good chance I would never be able to get pregnant and if I didn't think about trying soon, there was an even better chance of losing both ovaries and taking away any hopes all together.
Jimmy and I faced our biggest marriage decision up to that point. Do we try and get pregnant or wait and risk me losing the ability? Were we ready, spiritually and emotionally, to be parents? What about money? Jobs? Our home? Everything seemed to come at us fast and had God not been at the center of our relationship we might have spun out of control. We knew the answer to all the questions swirling in our heads. We knew what we were up against. And we knew exactly what God wanted us to do. For almost six years Jimmy had told me we would get pregnant in God's time. I couldn't help but tell him that it also takes some work on our part as well, but he would just shake his head and say, "No, it's seriously in God's hands. Not ours."
And at the end of July, after our first month of attempting to get pregnant, the tests - all 4 of them - read a clear positive. It WAS in God's hands. It WAS in His time. And it WAS because of His will that I was able to get pregnant without any problems. We were so thrilled all we could think to do was pray. I will never forget that morning when we sat on the bed, hands shaking with excitement, tears streaming down our faces, praying to God in thanks for His good and gracious gift. The doctors told us not to get our hopes up, that the possibility was there, but slim. They said if it happened, it may take months. But God was bigger.
So, no, our pregnancy is not an accident. And it also wasn't forced, either. We were ready, but we put it in our Savior's hands and His will was done. That's why we refer to James MacKenzie Fraser V as a miracle - because he is.
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