New Beginnings

I have a few different blogs, but for some reason I felt the need to start a new one. You know those times in life when you reflect and realize you need a "do-over"? I needed one. Desperately. And because writing is a passion of mine, I figured a new blog would be another area of my life where I could start fresh.

This need to start fresh came about a week ago when I realized how overwhelmed I allow myself to get. I wish I could blame the problem solely on a certain area of my life, but that would be too simple. Instead, I realized I let all aspects of my life get a little out of hand. With my job, I work too much. (completely, cliche, I know.) At home, I want to be the perfect wife. (If that exists.) With friends, I want to be the reliable companion, the shoulder to cry on, and the one to laugh with. Spiritually, I want my life to resemble Christ's in every way. And as a mom-to-be, I want to be loving, compassionate, and ready for the challenges ahead. Mix all of this together during the 29th week of pregnancy, and you run into a bit of a problem. A very stressful problem.

So, I've decided, after spending time in prayer and reading the Word, that life has to change. I needed a do-over. Thank God we have the ability to be wiped clean through the love of Christ. And because of this great gift, I'm wiping my slate clean and letting God guide my heart and actions, instead of the stress of the world around me. And you know what? It's a beautiful, peaceful feeling.

So this blog will be used to document what's going on in The Fraser's lives from 29 weeks of pregnancy on. Here we go......

29 weeks pregnant. It's a pretty big milestone for a couple. The countdown to baby day is so much easier to comprehend and so much more real at this point. Unfortunately, the third trimester is not a time in a woman's life when she feels all warm and fuzzy inside whenever thoughts of the new baby pop into her head. Instead, you are hot because you cannot control your body temperature; you're uncomfortable because you feel like a whale; and you're a bit testy because sleep doesn't come as easy anymore.

I've been reading every book I can get my hands on to prepare me for the big day. I know what I should be expecting during each week of pregnancy, all the different scenarios that could happen on the day of the birth, etc. But my husband, my loving, caring, adorable husband, has yet to pick up a book. He hasn't even read the single chapter in "What to Expect.." that is for dad's. I've asked him to read. I've begged him to read. But for some reason, the Harry Potter series seems to be much more riveting than a pregnancy/labor preparation manual.

But just the other day, I realized that although he hasn't read the books, he grasps what being a good husband during pregnancy means.

I'm not going to sugar coat it - I've let my appearance go down the drain the past few weeks. The moment I realized my favorite T-shirts were fitting way too tight, I got really discouraged. Oh! And my hair! It has a mind of its own right now. It doesn't seem to matter if I wash it daily or every other day, it still does the oddest things. My face is a little chubbier than I would like, and makeup - HA! - I have no time or energy for makeup. I figured if I have to carry a baby and feel completely out of whack in my own body, then it shouldn't matter to anyone how I look.

But someone said something. And then another person said something. The comments began to come from outsiders about how tired and drained I looked. And with it went any strain of self-confidence I might have managed to grab onto during these last hard weeks of pregnancy.

Have no fear, though. These comments did not come from my husband. Yes, I'm talking about the man who hasn't picked up a book and really has little to no understanding of what it is like to be punched in the bladder 50 times a day by a little guy who weighs 3 pounds already. My husband, by the grace of God, has been smart enough to tell me for the past weeks how beautiful I am, and how happy he is that he married me. Even when I can't find a thing to wear and I stand in the closet with tears streaming down my face, he smiles and tells me that I'll look good in anything. I know he's lying right through his teeth, but hey, it's still nice to hear.

So, for now, he's off the hook about not reading the baby books.